Mental Health Awareness Month, Mothers' Day, and Memoir Readers

May is days away - bringing both Mothers' Day and  Mental Health Awareness Month. This has me thinking about wonderful readers who have taken the time to share their thoughts with me - and not only those who are affected by mental illness in their families (one in four families, btw- we are "the 25%"), but also those who see Ben Behind His Voices as, to quote the Library Journal review, "a darn good read for memoir fans."

Sure, I wrote the book to open eyes to the issues surrounding mental illness and the family, and to help others going through it - but under it all, it's also the story of a mother (and a sister) who refused to give up on someone they love. I don't have to have shoveled coal to appreciate Angela's Ashes. And I'm glad that many family members in "the 75%" not directly affected by mental illness in a loved one are still writing to say how much the story of family love and strength means to them.

a gift from Ben, Mothers Day 2011

Here are some recent comments. Thank you!!!

Randye Kaye has touched my heart with this book. It's not just about battling a disease, it's about a mother's love for her family and her relentless crusade to help her children to be the best that they can regardless of what obstacles in life are placed in their way. Randye brings you into her family circle and writes with such emotion that you feel that you are experiencing every high and low with her. It's a story of courage, of never giving up, of hope. It is a story of inspiration that leaves you feeling that although life does not always turn out the way you hope, it can be ok. This book is not just for families of children battling mental illness, it's for all parents who face different challenges with their children. I could not put the book down once I started it. Such an incredible story. I hope there is a sequel so we can see how Ben is coping a few years from now. Great book for all, I would highly recommend reading it. - ESM, latest customer review on Amazon

It isn't often that I spend a little more than a day finishing a book. I usually have 2 or 3 books going at once and I finish them as the spirit moves me...I was truly moved by your story. - MS, Chicago reader

What strikes me most about the story is the reserve of human endurance and the depths of love and resilience of the family...And Ben: how courageous he is and what it takes to manage the disorder comes through on the pages. Randye Kaye's resilience, determination and courage are inspiring to anyone who must go down this difficult road of schizophrenia or any other chronic illness...this is a painful situation and yet the reader is left hopeful because of the power of hope and love. It shows what it means to be human. - book club reader, Syracuse NY

What can you say about a book that chronicles the descent of a sweet child into mental illness? This is an excellent book, which everyone should read. Mental illness -- and especially schizophrenia -- is so stigmatized that people are afraid of those who are ill. It is sad to watch, with the author, as her sweet, bright son deteriorates before her eyes, and the years of seeking it took before someone correctly diagnosed his disease. And her reactions -- not wanting to be with him, but wanting to protect him; hating him while loving him; missing the beautiful child he once was -- are heartbreaking. I highly recommend this book. - Laura Nichols, Goodreads reviewer

A truly inspiring story of the struggle against mental illness has recently come to my attention. Written by the mother of an individual suffering from Schizophrenia, "Ben Behind His Voices" is a truly illuminating tale of one family's long term experience with the various trials and tribulations that go hand-in-hand with mental disorders. - from Max Ingram, blogger at Runic Realities:

Award Winning Blog

Thanks for the Award! Check out Jennifer's Blog

Thanks to Jenifer Robinson, author of the blog Suicidal No More: Choosing to Live with Schizoaffective Disorder , for giving the I Choose to Live award to this Ben Behind His Voices blog!

Jennifer says:

Ben Behind His Voices is a parents' blog about their son's Schizophrenia. They are authors of the book, Ben Behind His Voices: One Family's Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope. They post timely, relevant articles, updates on their advocacy work, and how their son is doing. "Thank you for the work you are doing to raise awareness about Schizophrenia and other mental illnesses."Thanks, Jennifer!

Interview on "Best People Ever" with Deb Scott

Deb Scott, author of The Sky is Green and the Grass is Blue, interviews "the best people ever" - in fact, it's the name of her radio show. Had the privilege of talking with Deb yesterday for about 30 minutes - here is the result!

Best People Ever Show - Randye Kaye

Listen to internet radio with Best People We Know on Blog Talk Radio

Book Reviews from the Field: Psychologist, Psych Nurses

Thanks to Psych Central for adding Ben Behind His Voices to the excellent titles in their Mental Health Library. I'm proud to be listed here!

Readers who also happen to be healthcare providers (psychiatrists, nurses, psychologists, social workers, etc.) give extra hope that the messages in our story (greater empathy, the human face of mental illness, reduction of stigma, need for early detection, more integrated treatment options, new research, increased services, open communication and teamwork in recovery) will continue to branch out to others. Thank you!

From Nicholette Leanza, M.Ed, PCC-S - review on Psych Central

"Ben Behind His Voices is an inspirational story about a family’s experience with schizophrenia... This book is a good resource for individuals with schizophrenia and their families. It also serves as a strong reminder to mental health professionals to treat individuals affected with the illness with dignity and compassion...

She carries the reader along and we, in turn, can feel her pain to find the answers to her son’s issues and problems. She begins some of her chapters with excerpts from Ben’s writings, which provide the reader some insight into his perspective on his struggles:

I am most of my voices

Many different selvesI don’t need to give in to what I fear

Just give in to the fact that I’m afraid.

~ Ben, c. 2001"

Here, Psychiatric Nurse Charmaine Grace shares her perspective on her blogpost "I Love My Job"

"This book is a must-read for anyone working in the mental health field, a family member of someone suffering from a mental illness, or any person who is diagnosed. One very important lesson I learned from this book is that there is so much more to that person behind the hospital room door than a simple diagnosis.

Now, whenever I see a patient, I try to recall this memoir and think about the process of how this person got into a crisis, how afraid he or she may have been, and how afraid his or her family may have been. When I see a family member, I always try to remember to ask, “How are you feeling?” to let him or her know that this is not an easy process, and that his or her health (physical and psychological) is very important to me."

Thanks to you both for reading the book, sharing your thoughts, and for your work in this field.

"A Moment of Clarity": Art, Bipolar Disorder, and Courage

I've just learned about a wonderful new documentary called A Moment of Clarity.  I had a long conversation with its producer, Kevin Cullen, and the hope for  this wonderful movie is the same as for Ben Behind His Voices: To reduce stigma, promote understanding, honor the talent and courage of those with mental health issues by focusing on one human story, and share their family's experience as well. Check it out! There is a preview on the homepage, and the movie will be available for screenings to interested audiences. Contact Kevin Cullen for more information.

The story, according to the website, is this:

Isti and His Amazing Art

“A Moment of Clarity” is an intimate documentary providing true insight into the world of bipolar disorder told through the life and art of emerging painter Isti Kaldor.(Pronounced: Ish-tea)

Having aspirations of touching people’s lives by attending medical school and becoming a physician was always his goal. Life however, had other plans. At the age of 19, during his sophomore year of college in Boone, NC, Isti suffered his first manic break and was diagnosed bipolar by the attending psychiatrist at Duke University Hospital.

Continuing to attend school in the midst of making sense of a new reality, he suffered another misfortune. A kayaking accident left him with a broken back. Then, the most devastating loss of all came when his mother, Stefi, lost her battle with lung cancer.

Reeling from his emotional devastation, an unexpected and wonderful thing occurred. Hospitalized during a manic period at UNC Hospital, Isti started to paint. Never having painted prior to his manic break, something in his mind was awoken the results of which were evident in the dynamic expression of his artwork.

11 years and 13 manic episodes later (four of which have occurred during the filming of this documentary), Isti, along with the help of his family, doctors and friends has endured. He has endured by living through what some would consider hell and has arrived at an unforeseen destination. A place where he can finally do what he dreamed of years ago. Touch peoples lives.“

A Moment of Clarity” is his story…

PBS AZ Opening Question: "Who is Ben?"

The interview for PBS in Phoenix, AZ last Thursday began with this wide-open question:
Who is Ben?

How to answer? Well -

different trees, same mental health issues

He's my son.

He is a sweet, loving, bright, caring, 29-year-old.

And - he has paranoid schizophrenia.

Very importantly, he is being treated for schizophrenia.

Here's how I answered this question, and the thought-provoking ones that followed, in this PBS interview on Arizona Horizon with Ted Simons.

In the same state where Jared Lee Loughner just lost his third appeal over forced medications, this is a very important distinction. My son, Ben, is in treatment.  Loughner, who killed six people and wounded former U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and 12 others in nearby Tucson just over a year ago, did so as a person whose schizophrenia had gone untreated for too long - and with disastrous results.

Here, in the state of Arizona where many still seem in a state of emotional disbelief over what happened in Tucson, the consequences of inadequate care and services for those suffering with mental illness seems even more obvious - and undeniably important.

In three days, I have made the rounds, courtesy of the Arizona Foundation for Behavioral Health (AFBH)andASU's Center for Applied Behavioral Health Policy, speaking in a community lecture, two media interviews, and meetings with NAMI as well as university students and educators in the field.

It has been a whirlwind - and I have met so many wonderful people who care about the issues that can make a difference for all of us affected by mental illness: people who have been diagnosed, those who love them, and the community they live in.

I have but one story to tell with full accuracy - our own - but I have heard many more in these few days. I hold tight to the belief that, one story at a time, shared without shame and empowered by education and courage, we can all make a difference in the way services for those with mental illness are funded, and to the laws that need to be passed to increase research, provide resources, and restore dignity and health to those who have been let down by the system that used to help them live a useful, dignified life.

Art and Advocacy: When Worlds Intertwine

Like so many people I know, I have no short answer when people ask me, "So what do you do?". If given just a few words, I guess I can say "I talk and write for a living", or "I communicate professionally." But, really? I am a serious dabbler - and insatiably curious information-seeker and sharer.

Author, speaker, stage actress, singer, voice talent, audiobook narrator, advocate, TV/film/improvisation performer, drama teacher, Voiceover coach, NAMI educator, ADL diversity trainer, presentations coach,blogger, radio broadcaster, MC --and that's just my work life. You know what I mean - how many roles do you play in one day?  My professional website home page even has four portals to explore. Still, it adds up somehow - like when the bills get paid - and even occasionally makes sense.

When I get the chance to speak to audiences about Ben Behind His Voices, it's a wonderful opportunity to marry a lot of these worlds. Here, in this clip from a recent library appearance in Trumbull, CT, you can hear an excerpt from the book as well as some thoughts on Ben's progress and why understanding and respect are so vital.

Many of these roles layered beautifully when I got the chance as voice talent to narrate the audiobook of Ben Behind His Voices. Strange to step out of  the writer's shoes and slip on those of the narrator...oh, the urge to rewrite as I narrated! But I am thrilled that the end result was so beautifully produced by Spoken Word Inc, received starred reviews, and that we were nominated as "among the best of the best" for Publishers Weekly's 2011 Listen Up Awards! In the "read by author" category, we were in great company: John Lithgow, Jane Lynch, Penn Jillette and Amy Chua (Tiger Mom lady).

OK, so Lithgow won - but still. Can't think of anyone better to lose to. I get the "it's an honor just to nominated" thing now - really. Thanks!

Dear Readers: Thanks for your stories

One of the best gifts in any day is finding an unexpected letter or e-mail from someone who has just read Ben Behind His Voices . I treasure these words, and am grateful to you who take the time to share your reactions and stories. These are the best reviews an author can have, especially when they validate the reasons for writing the book in the first place.

A sample from this week's inbox:

"I have just finished reading your book---my first on mental illness---and feel SO enlightened.  It is  well-written, from the heart ...That love, perseverance and hope continue to be greater than the struggle you face /have faced was a key take-away for me.  Thank you for writing this extremely insightful and honest testimony.  The resources at end of the book are an excellent addition."- reader in CT

"I recently met you at the American Psychiatric Nurses Association Conference in California. Your talk was extraordinary and very moving, and I continued to be captivated by your book on the plane home. I will be teaching a group of sophomore nursing students in their Mental Health Nursing class this spring, and have made your book required reading for them over the winter break." - University School of Nursing Professor and Program director

"I have just finished your book.  I read it in its entirety in 2 days...I am still reeling inside from your candid revelations and your unbelievably forthright delivery.  I have to stop typing every once in a while to wipe my tears as I try to put into words what I want to say to you. .. Thank you.  Thank you for having the guts to tell your story, Ben's story, Ali's story and for giving the rest of us hope."- A sibling dealing with mental illness in her sister

Thank you!

Randye

Diagnosis, Schizophrenia: What Came Next?

Interview on Conn Jackson' show, Get Connected-- he on windy Manhattan (California) Beach, me in a nice warm studio in Manhattan (Big Apple). He asked some great questions, and allowed me to highlight the importance of therapeutic alliance, NAMI, early detection, reduction of stigma, support and education for families, and the importance of love and hope.

Thanks, Conn! Here's what he had to say about the interview on YouTube:

"Watch as Randye Kaye, author, tells us about her son's struggle with schizophrenia and how she helped him though it. Why is Randye's secret advice? Watch and find out!"

Defying Mental Illness: a pre-review

So much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving - especially considering how else things might have turned out without knowing some steps to take when Ben had a relapse this summer. Something I've felt before as well as now: We might have lost him.

For over 20 years, we have spent the holiday at my younger brother's house, around the same table with his wife, sons, and others. Ghosts of Thanksgivings past: Ben absent, when he was wandering homeless out West. Ben not there, because he was in the hospital. Ben there physically, but so involved with his inner world that he might as well have been absent.

This year, though, was wonderful. After a very tough summer, Ben has returned home once again in more ways than one. Part of this year's success is due to a very understanding employer who can see past his illness to the value he has underneath. And for that, how can I - and Ben -not be grateful? We are.  The change in Ben, beyond the effects of his medical treatment, has been enormous because of the dignity that comes when you are employed, useful and appreciated.  This is true, I think, for us all.

Meanwhile, I am reading an early copy of a book called Defying Mental Illness: Finding Recovery with Community Resources and Family Supports. So far, I love this book. The authors, Paul Komarek and Andrea Schroer,  say this in their introduction:

The authors know many people who have made it through the struggle with mental illness, andmany family members and professionals who have supported people with difficult conditions.They have come to terms with mental illness, faced every kind of disorder, and dealt with everykind of treatment. They have rebuilt lives, repaired family relationships and achieved meaningfulsuccess.You can accomplish this too.

I'm already hooked! Will keep you posted. Ben, Ali and I tell our story in Ben Behind His Voices.  My first reaction is that we all need a book like this one, too. These authors, I suspect, will provide some concrete information in this book that is "a book that is not too technical, and suitable for communityoutreach work."  Welcome!

BBHV's Readers react, review, and share

Psychology section, B&N

If getting a memoir from  inside your head to the shelves of Barnes and Noble and the Amazon inventory is like pregnancy, labor, and giving birth, then the process from that point is like raising a child: constant work, many possibilities and rewards, letting go of your baby and letting it find its way in the world. 

Every so often, though, I hear from a reader - someone I have never met face-to-face but who now knows my story in a surprisingly intimate way - and the journey my "baby" is on becomes real to me. These comments from former strangers, now readers, have touched me in so many ways, and have already made all the hard work more than worth it. Thank you for taking the time to write!

from a psychiatrist in Michigan:

" I received your book at a recent conference.  I just finished reading it:  it was amazing - I couldn't put it down! Thank you for the courage to tell your and your son's story - I am sorry you went through all you did until the correct diagnosis was made and Ben rec'd the help he desperately needed.  Your openness and honesty has reminded me again of the frailty of life, but also the hope that there is help.  I have referred many families to NAMI and your book and your commitment to this fine organization has confirmed my trust in their work."

from a mental healthcare provider in Connecticut:

"I just finished your book, and I want to thank you for this beautifully written text.  The love for your son comes through the pages so strongly.  There is not one ounce of blame towards the providers, who often feel helpless as well, yet also want the best for those individuals- and their families- who are facing the challenge of a mental illness."

Jennifer, a student, writes:

"I just finished reading your book.Your last chapter moved me to tears. I'm currently doing an internship at an acute care mental hospital and your book helps me to be optimistic and relate to each patient as a human being. I appreciate the honesty and hope you express in your book which I feel speaks to the struggles that all parents to different extents experience. "

Another Mom shares:

"I read your book this summer on my Kindle, and it really had a powerful impact on me. Your writing was so genuine and heartfelt, and I  have much admiration and respect for you. I appreciate how far you have gone to openly share your story, to take the stigma away from mental illness, to inform families of the resources available, to share the ups and downs of your family's struggle in such an warm, honest manner, and to commit yourself to helping others who are facing similar struggles. You are a truly amazing Mom and your story hit home in a gripping way, giving me much strength."

Keep writing, please - I love to hear from you!

Mental Health Awareness: Don't Let it Stop

As "Mental Health/Mental Illness Awareness Week" draws to a close, I open with the hope that awareness will continue. It must. We have come so far, but there is a long way to go.

With luck, Ben Behind His Voices will do its part to help spread that awareness. Last week I did a "radio interview blitz" - 20 interviews in a row! - and a frequent question was about why I wrote the book.

I'm going to let Amy Barry, award-winning columnist for "Parent's Eye View" in Connecticut, answer that question in this excerpt from her recent article, Book Dispels Myths of Mental Illness (click on the title to read full article). Thanks to Amy for asking the right questions, and framing them so beautifully with her own words.

More than a decade ago Congress declared the first week of October Mental Awareness Week to draw attention to the efforts of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), an education and advocacy group that aims to "change hearts, minds, and attitudes" about mental illness on a grassroots, community level.
Sadly, we still have a long way to go in accurately diagnosing, treating, creating empathy for, and reducing fear of those who suffer with mental illnesses, despite the fact that illnesses such as schizophrenia are estimated to strike one in 100 people worldwide.
The recently published "Ben Behind His Voices: One Family's Journey From the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope" by Randye Kaye is an intimate, honest, heart-wrenching story of a mother and the son she adores slipping away into the throes of mental illness. (The name Ben is fictitious to protect her son's privacy).

She says her background as an actress and performer makes her a storyteller and helped her write this book."

It gave me the capacity to step outside the story and tell it," she says. "I think we learn best through stories. You can make the point and teach the facts, but if you don't illustrate it with stories from your life and experience, people can't connect to it."
Kaye's hope is for the story to be gripping and for people to care about "the characters" and also get helpful factual information, which is included as chapter guideposts.
She says she didn't write the book for herself - she had already spent a lot of time processing the grief of having a child with a mental illness."

The fantasy that nothing can happen to your kid gets shattered - and it's a really tough piece of glass to shatter," she says. "I wrote the book for parents so they wouldn't feel alone, and I wrote it for providers (therapists, school psychiatrists, social workers), so when they meet them - which is usually at the end of their rope - not to judge them, and to allow the families as much as possible to be part of the recovery. I also wrote it for my son - to increase understanding and reduce stigma for those with mental illness. Until we understand it, we have no idea how much courage it takes (someone like Ben) to get up and have a day."

Parenting, Illness, and...Guilt?

Amanda Fellows, a fellow voice talent and radio host for Business Women Connect, interviewed me today for her show on Blog Talk Radio.  We had a luxurious half hour for the interview, rare in commercial radio. Of course, it went by in a flash.

Amanda Fellows

Amanda asked two questions I hadn't heard yet in this round of interviews for Ben Behind His Voices. One was about the process of narrating my own words in the audiobook, published by Spoken Word Inc. (since we are both voice talents, that question wasn't too surprising). The second was about two of the book's chapters, and my feelings as a parent when I had to let go of Ben and allow him "freedoms" that terrified me: once when he wandered homeless in Idaho, a few years later when I had to declare him homeless in order to get him into the system of state care that would eventually help him recover without my constant watch.

Amanda asked, "How did you deal with the guilt?"

My answer had to do with recognizing the difference between productive "appropriate" guilt (e.g. forgetting your kid's birthday and making sure you never do it again) and unproductive "inappropriate" guilt (e.g. I feel bad that I had to ground you, and you missed a party).

Mental Illness certainly raises these stakes - raises them high - but still guilt can be a waste of energy, and can hold back progress that is painful but ultimately necessary. You gotta do what you gotta do.

You can hear the interview here:

Listen to internet radio with Business Women Connect on Blog Talk Radio

Official Book Launch, and hope for its messages

Two new e-mails from people - formerly strangers but now BBHV readers - surprise me with their stories.

audiobook CD

One comes forwarded by my audiobook publisher Spoken Word Inc -- "Thank you so much for posting about the book, Ben Behind His Voices.My brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia last year and my whole family doesn't really know how to help. I ordered it for my nook last night and finished it this morning. Absolutely heart wrenching but extremely informative. I am buying a copy for my mom today and think it will help. Thank you again!"

Another comes directly to me: "I want to thank you for changing my life. I read Ben Behind His Voices in a day and a half on my Kindle. My child was diagnosed with schizophrenia four years ago. Our lives were turned upside down. You put my thoughts feelings and words on the pages of your book. You have given me so much hope and insight into my situation. You understand."

My hopes for our story - that it will touch others - are starting to become real. That makes all the hard work feel worthwhile already.

Laurel House sponsors the party tonight

And we've only just begun. Official book launch party tonight, and here I sit in my overalls writing blogposts. So glamorous! In a few minutes I leave to pick Ben up from work - and, after that, he has homework to do. This all sounds so wonderfully normal. After this summer's "symptom reoccurance", I remain especially grate for these ordinary miracles.

And  there's another surprise: Ben has decided he wants to go tonight to the Book Launch Party. Really? I never expected this. "I want to support you, Mom," he says - and I am heartwarmed by this as well as - I admit - a little nervous about it. One week ago, in an interview with Katrina Daniel of Womenetrics,  I said :

Womenetics: What’s your relationship with Ben like now? And, what is Ben’s reaction to this book about his life?
Kaye: In recovery for eight years now, Ben continues to rebuild his life. He has had a few setbacks, described in the book and in my blogs (here and at Healthy Place) but that is often part of the recovery. Right now Ben has a job, is making the dean’s list consistently in college as a part-time student, participates in family activities, and never forgets anyone’s birthday. We love each other a lot, and he loves his sister, new brother-in-law, stepdad, and the rest of our family, and we all get along very well. One of the best signs that Ben’s treatment was working was the fact that we stopped arguing.

(As for his reaction) I’d say “guarded.” Ben gave me permission to write the book, he gave me permission to use his poetry, as long as I changed his name in the book. I also think there is part of him that is proud that his story might help someone else, but right now, like many in his young age group with schizophrenia, he lacks insight into the reality of the illness. In other words, he doesn’t think he is “sick.” But he is really proud of how far he has come, and he credits the fact that he has not used any marijuana for years.

So - how do we handle all this tonight, with Ben's need to stay rather anonymous as well as to support me? Also - which passages do I read out loud? He has only heard some of the book  so far. I have let him totally call the shots as to how much he wants to be involved, and that's as it absolutely should be.  But - will the evening go well for Ben? Will he balk at some of the honesty in my passages?

We'll see. Our family is not unfamiliar with uncertainly. And, of course, it would have been hard to not have Ben there.  I admit I hope that, someday, Ben will share his perspective too - but not one second before he feels he is entirely ready to. That is his call, his journey.  So connected to ours.

Schizophrenia Story: A Life of its Own

it's real! face out in B&N

After six years of writing, rewriting, hoping, polishing, editing, believing, and picking up the pieces more than once - Ben Behind His Voices is real. The official birthday is this Thursday, 9/15/11, but it has been shipped to Amazon customers already and this week I actually saw it at a Barnes & Noble bookstore!

OK, I admit I was looking for it. I was 30 minutes early for a recording session in Norwalk CT, so saw the B&N and thought "hmmm...I wonder?" and went hunting. And there it was. Face out, yet! Featured Title in the Addiction/Recovery section...(really? OK, whatever. I'll take it)

Seeing the book there, for real, was an amazing feeling,  kind of like finally meeting the child you've nurtured in your womb for nine months.  Wow. This was different from receiving my handful of author copies in the mail last month. I knew where those would go. Now, I see that each book will have a life of its own, a life that is now beyond my control. Who will buy these?, I wonder. Who has downloaded it onto their kindle? I've already begin receiving e-mails from readers I have never met.  I got one last night that said, "I want to thank you for changing my life.  I read Ben Behind His Voices in a day and a half on my Kindle...I can't thank you enough for your courage, and for your showing me how to cope and be positive. "  After I read the rest of her e-mail she no longer felt like a stranger. My biggest hope for the book, for the audiobook as well, is that it will, indeed, take on a "life of its own" as any child must - and reach the people who will be touched, comforted, inspired, educated or simply gripped by the story.  I have heard from readers in Canada, the UK, Brazil, and all over the U.S. And we've barely begun the journey.

Watch for the audiobook, coming this week, if you have a long commute. Wow. This is happening.

Book launch party next week! Mental Illness Awareness week very soon. Hope to meet you too.

PBS, ABC, Boston Globe, and the Flu

when mommy's hug could cure

Ben has spent the night - we've all been there - worshiping the porcelain throne.  Either a stomach flu, or spoiled Chinese food (thanks, Hurricane Irene), but who cares why? Poor thing is in pain. No mom wants to see that. Plus, he is whining! Ah, yes, nothing like a 29-year-old whining "Mommy...." - but whenever I'm sick I want to do the same thing, and my mother's been gone since 1994.

There's an additional issue, of course, when your child has schizophrenia. Will he, can his body, keep the meds down? Last night we carefully orchestrated the meds between episodes, and since they are mainly in liquid form we can only hope most of them got into his system somehow. We counted (believe me, we both had one eye on the clock) 55 minutes from ingestion to, um, rejection.

Ben's main concern, despite his pain? "If I throw up, I won't have to go to the hospital, will I?" I thought, at first, that he was over-dramatizing his stomach pain - but then realized he was worried about having to go back to the psychiatric unit for missing one dose of meds. I'm beginning to think this last relapse really affected him - and that maybe - just maybe - he is connecting the stay to his low levels of meds at the time.

I hope so. but - as always - one day at a time. And this morning, thankfully, he is on the mend.  He had to call in sick to work, which he hates, but at least he's staying put on the couch. And his first question this morning, after making sure we called his employer, was: "When should we do meds?"

taping 9/7/11 - watch for airtimes

Meanwhile - The Boston Globe ran a feature on the book recently, and I will travel to Washington DC next week to appear on an ABC-affiliate talk show live at 11 AM, then tape "To the Contrary" for PBS.   First really big-time appearances for the book. What if they ask me what my qualifications are? I wonder that, too, as readers are starting to write to me, asking for advice that I wish I had for them.  All that I know is in the book, and though I wish I could solve others' problems I know I can't. Here's my thought:"

I'm just a Mom who never gave up on her son - but who also learned that, someday, she might have to."

Please visit the new "Press Room" page,  for info and links to more articles and interviews.