As I write this, I realize it has been quite some time since I’ve posted.
Why? Because things have been remarkably stable — or maybe we’ve just finessed our ability to adjust to Ben’s illness. It is what it is. There have been a few blips, to be sure, but with fingers crossed every day we buy another 24 hours of relative normalcy by supervising the treatment my son still doesn’t – and may not ever – believe he needs.
Ben’s recovery (used in the same frame as an addict defines recovery…an ongoing process, one day at a time, with constant awareness and vigilance) has been framed by the four pillars that hold his life up. (Hold all of us up, actually): Treatment, Purpose, Structure. Love/Community.
And then Covid-19 hit. Ben’s job (restaurant server, full-time) disappeared – and along with it, 3 of the 4 pillars have toppled or at least been weakened.
Plus – he doesn’t understand why he can’t see his nieces and nephews. To keep some semblance of sanity, Ben goes out to see some friends in their homes. Germs, risk, but where do we draw the line? Now I must remain socially distant from my own son in our home – even when he offers a hug.
The tightrope walk continues.
I’d be lying if I said we weren’t concerned about Ben’s precarious mental health, on top of all the shared concerns that have come with coronavirus and quarantine.
And so we wait, watch, and supervise. Just more than usual.