Ben has spent the night – we’ve all been there – worshiping the porcelain throne. Either a stomach flu, or spoiled Chinese food (thanks, Hurricane Irene), but who cares why? Poor thing is in pain. No mom wants to see that. Plus, he is whining! Ah, yes, nothing like a 29-year-old whining “Mommy….” – but whenever I’m sick I want to do the same thing, and my mother’s been gone since 1994.
There’s an additional issue, of course, when your child has schizophrenia. Will he, can his body, keep the meds down? Last night we carefully orchestrated the meds between episodes, and since they are mainly in liquid form we can only hope most of them got into his system somehow. We counted (believe me, we both had one eye on the clock) 55 minutes from ingestion to, um, rejection.
Ben’s main concern, despite his pain? “If I throw up, I won’t have to go to the hospital, will I?” I thought, at first, that he was over-dramatizing his stomach pain – but then realized he was worried about having to go back to the psychiatric unit for missing one dose of meds. I’m beginning to think this last relapse really affected him – and that maybe – just maybe – he is connecting the stay to his low levels of meds at the time.
I hope so. but – as always – one day at a time. And this morning, thankfully, he is on the mend. He had to call in sick to work, which he hates, but at least he’s staying put on the couch. And his first question this morning, after making sure we called his employer, was: “When should we do meds?”
Meanwhile – The Boston Globe ran a feature on the book recently, and I will travel to Washington DC next week to appear on an ABC-affiliate talk show live at 11 AM, then tape “To the Contrary” for PBS. First really big-time appearances for the book. What if they ask me what my qualifications are? I wonder that, too, as readers are starting to write to me, asking for advice that I wish I had for them. All that I know is in the book, and though I wish I could solve others’ problems I know I can’t. Here’s my thought:
“I’m just a Mom who never gave up on her son – but who also learned that, someday, she might have to.”
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