January First Review: Yes, Childhood Schizophrenia is Real

January First: A Child’s Descent into Madness and Her Father’s Struggle to Save Her by Michael Schofield

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It’s such a mirror reflection of the emotions I went through as the mother of a son with schizophrenia – only my child was in his mid-teens when symptoms began. Jani was [...]

More than just Meds: Recovery Reminders

It can be so easy to get used to success, then to keep wishing for that higher bar.  I’ve read that it’s a human to forget extreme physical pain – otherwise why choose another bout with labor and childbirth? – but what about the emotional pain attached to crisis periods in mental illness?

All it [...]

Diagnosis, Schizophrenia: What Came Next?

Interview on Conn Jackson’ show, Get Connected– he on windy Manhattan (California) Beach, me in a nice warm studio in Manhattan (Big Apple). He asked some great questions, and allowed me to highlight the importance of therapeutic alliance, NAMI, early detection, reduction of stigma, support and education for families, and the importance of love and [...]

Listen to a Scene: Ben Behind His Voices

One week before Ben’s first hospitalization in 2003, I stopped by his apartment because he wasn’t answering my calls. This is what I found, from the chapter “Not Sick Enough.” Ben’s silent treatment, and his living conditions, were almost grounds for the Emergency Room- but not quite. Not yet.

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One Small Glimmer of Hope: We’ll Take It

Today: a “discharge meeting” with City Hospital’s psychiatric team, and the case managers for Ben who come in with an alleged treatment plan. The hospital’s Chief of Psychiatry informs me that Ben’s self-talk is now so strong that he shouts back at his voices at times, and it has taken three tries for a group [...]

Schizophrenia and Respect: Still Proud of my Son?

The last line of my book is this (no spoiler alert necessary, don’t worry):

I am proud to be his mother.

The question you may want to ask, now that Ben has had his first relapse since 2005: Are you still proud of him?

My answer, of course, is a resounding yes.

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Families and Mental Illness: Listen, please.

I woke up early this morning, grateful to have slept at all. It’s finally Monday, and the main players on Ben’s so-called recovery team are back at work. Maybe – just maybe – I can do something today that will help Ben, repair some small part of the damage that has been done by the [...]

No Casseroles for Schizophrenia: Where truth, support, and hope began: NAMI’s Family-to-Family Course

Where truth, support, and hope began: NAMI’s Family-to-Family Course Now: Ben made the Dean’s List again! The letter from our local community college confirms his status and adds, “It is a a very worthwhile accomplishment to have become one of our best students.” For the first time in over a decade, Ben actually cares about [...]

Why the title "Ben Behind His Voices""? Excerpt from Introduction

why? because Ben is still in there, struggling to connect through the chaos of senses gone haywire, or sometimes dulled by the meds that keep him out of the hospital, in his brain.

Introduction – 2010

My son Ben knows the lyrics to every song I’ve never really noticed on the radio. He’s the one [...]

new excerpt: from Part One: Before the Illness

My Baby Boy

April 30, 1982

It’s hard for me not to see Ben’s life in two parts: before the illness – when everything seemed manageable with normal parenting skills – and afterwards, when all hell broke loose. Hopefully, now, he’s in a third phase: recovery. I remain so grateful that Ben’s doing well. But [...]